Original Orient

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Real Stories. Real Tools. Real Growth.

Tag: mental-health

  • Part 2: The Reality of Gig Work

    Burnout, Bad Managers, and Breaking Points

    I gave the gig apps a real shot. I signed up for Amazon Flex, but quickly hit a wall — they had a long waiting list, and I never got approved. Meanwhile, I kept checking Roadie, but even when I logged in at different times, I could never seem to grab a delivery. The competition was insane. This was right after the pandemic ended, and everyone was trying to make extra money, flooding the platforms with drivers.

    When I did the math, even the gigs I could have accepted didn’t make much sense financially. The wear and tear on my 2016 Ford Expedition, the gas, and the time just weren’t worth it. So I stopped depending on my car and shifted my focus.

    Enter the Night Shift

    Instead of delivery apps, I asked around. I talked to friends and family to see if anyone knew of part-time night jobs. That’s when my brother told me his grocery store was hiring for overnight shelf stockers. I applied, met with his boss, and she liked my enthusiasm. I was honest about my availability and that I had a full-time day job — she was cool with that.

    At first, it worked.

    I started working 11 PM to 4 AM, two to three nights a week. Sometimes I’d pick up an extra shift. The night manager and I had a good rhythm, and for a while, everything flowed.

    But then, things changed.

    The company rotated managers every few quarters, and a new night manager took over. He didn’t care about team flow or people’s situations — he just wanted to look good to upper management. At first, he started scheduling me for full 8-hour overnight shifts. I explained multiple times that this was a second job for me and I couldn’t work full-time nights and still function at my main job during the day.

    He didn’t care.

    He told me to update my availability in the system. When I asked how, he told me to “ask the day manager” — but I couldn’t talk to them because I was already working during the day. It felt like he was intentionally ignoring me, hoping I’d just quit.

    Instead, I pushed through.

    For months, I was working 40 hours at my day job and 30+ hours overnight. I was averaging 5 hours of sleep a week. I don’t even remember most of that year — birthdays, holidays, special moments with my wife, kids, and grandkids. It’s all a blur.

    😵‍💫 Total Burnout

    Eventually, it caught up with me.

    My mental health crashed. I was snappy, constantly tired, and had no control over where my money was going. You’d think with two jobs, I’d be saving money — but I wasn’t. I was too exhausted to budget, too foggy to plan. All the extra hours and stress led to bad decisions and impulse spending.

    One night, after blowing up at my wife for no real reason, I broke down. I turned off my alarm for the night shift — and never turned it back on. I didn’t call in. I didn’t give notice. I just quit.

    Was it the right way to leave? No. But I was completely drained. I was deep in a kind of burnout that most people don’t understand unless they’ve lived it. No sleep. No control. Just survival mode.

    At the time, I had just finished paying off my car loan and was about 5 months away from paying off a personal loan. I thought I could manage the bills with just my main job again.

    I was wrong.

    Aftermath & the Cost of Overworking

    Even after quitting the night job, the effects lingered. My judgment was off. My ability to plan, budget, or even think clearly was wrecked. I was still spending like I had two incomes, but only had one. I didn’t even realize how deep I was getting in until it was too late.

    The bills ballooned. My mental health tanked. And it took almost a full year for me to start feeling like myself again.

    Looking back, I know I got in over my head. I let survival mode take over, and I paid for it — financially, emotionally, and mentally. And the truth is, a lot of people are out there doing the same thing right now. Grinding day and night, trying to hold it all together.

    👉 Coming soon: Part 3 — Climbing Out

    How I started rebuilding from burnout and learning how to manage again

  • Part 1: When One Job Isn’t Enough

    A Real-Life Look at Hustle, Gig Work, and Providing for Family

    At 32 years old, I was working full-time — 80+ hours every two weeks — and pulling in around $55,000 a year before taxes. Not a fortune, but we made it work. My wife was the real breadwinner for our household, and she also handled most of the fun stuff for the family — vacations, birthday parties, weekend outings. I was more of the “boring dad,” keeping things steady.

    But then life shifted. My wife was forced to change jobs, and her income was going to be cut. Suddenly, the pressure was on me to carry more of the financial load. I liked my main job — I work as a Sales Loan Associate, writing collateral loans, selling items, and handling cash. (If you haven’t guessed, I work in a pawn shop — one of the oldest professions around.) It’s a job that keeps me on my toes and lets me interact with all types of people and situations.

    But as much as I liked my day job, it wasn’t going to be enough on its own. I’d tried working multiple jobs in the past, and I’d also dipped my toe into the world of gig work — apps like DoorDash, Uber Eats, and others that send you a 1099 instead of a W-2. These jobs are technically self-employed work, which means you have to do your own taxes and set money aside before it even hits your bank account.

    I’d driven for DoorDash before, but honestly, I wasn’t a fan. The constant fast food runs and drive-thru waits didn’t appeal to me. But now, with my wife placed on medical leave and our household suddenly a one-income family, I was motivated to try again — and this time, I was determined to find something that fit.

    I came across a few new delivery apps I hadn’t used before:

    Amazon Flex Roadie (which I believe is now a FedEx subsidiary)

    The first time I opened Roadie, it was a Friday afternoon around 4 PM. There were two deliveries available — one paying about $11.30, another around $23. Not bad for quick runs at the end of the day.

    But of course, there were requirements. You need a valid driver’s license, a reliable vehicle, and the ability to lift and transport packages. I had all that. But when I checked the Roadie app again over the weekend, there were no deliveries. That’s when I realized Roadie probably follows a more traditional schedule — no weekend runs, likely because it’s connected to FedEx.

    I decided to give it a real shot — check it multiple times a week, get familiar with the app, and see if it could actually help bring in some money. The app was simple to use and walked you through each step, from pickup to delivery. Payment is supposed to land weekly, just like DoorDash.

    At that point, I hadn’t tried too many other gig platforms, but I was motivated. I wanted to see if I could grind away at the bills, save some money, and maybe even build some connections in the process. Gigs aren’t just side hustles — they can be opportunities to learn and grow. That was my hope, anyway.

    But that’s just the beginning of the story.

    Coming next: Part 2 — The Reality of Gig Work

    Why things didn’t go exactly as planned — and what I learned from it.

  • Spinal Ridiculopathy 2: Three Years Later, Still Fighting

    Hey, I’m back — now three years into this journey with chronic back pain, and to be honest, not much has changed in terms of real relief. When I last wrote, I had just started a new medication: Low-Dose Naltrexone (LDN), 5mg — a modified version of a medication originally used for alcohol withdrawal.

    It’s been somewhat helpful, but accessing it isn’t easy. I have to order it from an out-of-state compounding pharmacy. It costs around $90 for a two-month supply — not terrible, but I still wonder if there’s a local pharmacy that could fill it for less hassle.

    The Daily Meds Routine

    Right now, here’s what I’m taking (and it feels like a full-time job just managing it):

    Ibuprofen 800mg Tylenol 500mg Meloxicam 15mg Pregabalin (Lyrica) 100mg Nortriptyline 50mg Duloxetine (Cymbalta) 30mg Low-Dose Naltrexone 5mg

    That’s a pretty serious cocktail for someone who’s only 34. But if you live with back pain, you get it. If you don’t — consider yourself lucky.

    Let me break it down:

    Ibuprofen, Meloxicam, and Tylenol are for inflammation and pain. Meloxicam is a long-term NSAID, while Ibuprofen is more for short-term flare-ups. Duloxetine helps with both anxiety and musculoskeletal pain — though if I didn’t have the pain, I doubt I’d need it. Pain and anxiety go hand in hand. Nortriptyline is technically an antidepressant, but it’s also prescribed for nerve and joint pain. Pregabalin (Lyrica) is a controlled substance — not sure exactly why, but I have to show ID every time I pick it up. Maybe it’s because it can affect your mood, and stopping it suddenly can be dangerous. And then there’s Low-Dose Naltrexone, which I’m still experimenting with. It’s supposed to reduce inflammation and pain by calming the nervous system over time — we’ll see.

    Even with all these meds, I still have bad pain days. So yeah… sometimes I question whether they’re working at all.

    Trying to Stay Active

    For about a year, I was working two jobs — my full-time day job and a second shift as a shelf stocker at a grocery store. That meant lifting boxes, walking miles, bending constantly, and being on my feet for hours.

    The upside? I lost weight. I dropped to around 185–190 lbs, which is right where the doctors wanted me in terms of BMI. (Though let’s be real — BMI is outdated and doesn’t factor in muscle, build, or chronic illness.)

    The downside? I was exhausted and still in chronic pain. I wasn’t sleeping enough, and my pain didn’t improve. In fact, it probably got worse from the strain. The doctors told me to stay active and stick to physical therapy — but some of the exercises just made the pain worse. So I stopped going. And guilt followed.

    Even at a healthy weight, with an active lifestyle, I still didn’t feel “better.” That’s the part people don’t get: weight loss helps, but it doesn’t fix chronic nerve pain.

    Quality of Life — What Does That Even Mean?

    All I’ve ever wanted is to live a normal life. To spend time with my wife and kids, to be the dad and granddad I want to be. But my “quality of life” has been on a slow, downward slide.

    I can’t lift like I used to. I can’t run. I can’t even really play with my grandkids. Something as simple as picking one of them up could trigger a flare-up in my back or leg — sometimes it feels like my leg might just give out. It’s heartbreaking.

    What do you say to a doctor without sounding like a pill-seeker? All you want is relief. Not to get high — just to feel normal. To be able to do basic things without your body screaming at you.

    Still Here, Still Trying

    This is where I’m at. Still managing. Still hurting. Still showing up.

    If you’re going through something similar, I see you. I know how isolating it can be to live with chronic pain that most people don’t understand. You’re not alone — and if nothing else, maybe this post helps remind you of that.

    Thanks for reading. Until next time.

  • How I Bought a House at 26 – Keep It Simple, Stupid (K.I.S.S.)

    Hey everyone — today I want to share how I managed to buy a house at just 26 years old. I didn’t come from money, didn’t have a trust fund, and definitely made a lot of mistakes early on. But with patience, a better mindset, and one simple phrase in mind — “Keep it simple, stupid” (K.I.S.S.) — I turned things around.

    Back in 2008, after I graduated high school, I moved to Sacramento for a technical school. I used credit cards, student loans, and grant money to survive — food, bills, rent, tuition. At the time, I was working at a fast food restaurant as a cook. Even when I became a night shift manager, it wasn’t enough to keep up.

    By the time I was 19, I was flunking out of school and already a few hundred dollars in debt. Add in a relationship that didn’t help my financial decisions, and it all spiraled quickly.

    A New Job, A Better Mindset

    Eventually, I got a better job — one with more stability and better pay — and started dating someone who helped me stay focused. That combination gave me the clarity I needed to start taking control of my money.

    Here’s the part they don’t teach you in school: To build credit, you need debt. And not just any debt — managed, responsible debt.

    But schools don’t show you how to budget, how to read a credit report, or how to recover from mistakes. I had to learn the hard way.

    So I adopted a mindset that helped me get through it:

    “Keep it simple, stupid.”

    No shame, no insults — just a reminder to myself not to overthink or make things harder than they need to be. Because when you overcomplicate things, you make dumb mistakes.

  • Spinal Radiculopathy

    Hey I’m back and writing this with now 3 years of medicine and nothing really new. The last time I was writing about this I believe I was starting my new prescription. Naltraxone 5mg is a altered prescription of a larger pill used for alcohol withdrawal. This is a useful medicine the down fall is I have to order from a different state and to have it made is around $90 for 2 months not to bad but I wonder if I could find a compounding pharmacy in town. Now with all the medicine I’m on from Ibuprofen 800mg Tylenol 500mg, Meloxicam 15mg Pregabalin100mg, Nortriptyline 50mg Duloxetine 30mg, this a bit of medicine for a 34 year old I think but back pain, if you know you know.

    Ok so here is the break down Ibuprofen and meloxicam are anti inflammatory, so for swelling and Tylenol is used for pain as well as the nsaids(non steroid anti inflammation) Morton Advil and melexocam are nsaids. Next up Duloxetine or Cymbalta an anxiety and muskeletol symptom relief. Ok now I believe I would not need this medicine if i could just get rid of this pain, if only pain didn’t cause depression and anxiety about pain. Let’s take a look at Nortriptyline (palmor) another form of antidepressant that also shows signs of helping joint pain. Pregabalin or Lyrica considered a control substance for some reason not to sure but I have to present my ID every time I have to pick up. The only reason I think it is controlled is it alters attitude and may cause severe thoughts if stoped or prescription strength drop with out doctor oversight. I’m taking all these so I don’t feel pain as much pain as I normally do. Even on this medicine i still have really bad days and it does not seem like they are helping.

    For a year i was doing two jobs my main day job and I got a second job as a shelf stocker, Someone who wheels the boxes out to the grocery store aisles. Lifting boxes and organizing the shelf’s to make them look good for the next day customers. This job involved a lot of bending standing walking and lifting so to say if I was not active I would say otherwise. The only thing i was lacking was sleep so maybe my body was not getting enough sleep to rest up and feel better as you think. The doctors said to get more active and do physical therapy and that would help. The thing is some of the therapy exorcises would not feel to great or hurt so make it hard to keep going. By doing this second job I ended up loosing weight and hitting my target for weight. Like the Doctors say if you loose weight, Our bmi (body max index) I believe out of date measurement. At around 185 to 190 lbs being very active and trying to be happy. I was still feeling in pain at days and kinda feeling bad since I was in pain and i know my attitude is not the nicest when in pain.

    This is something i have a been trying to get over and get be hind me so i can spend some good quality time with my wife and kids. What is the doctors meaning for Quality of life, as I feel my Quality of life has been in a downward spiral as I’m not able to do as much as I was able to multiple years ago. You know as I am not Able to lift or run not even really play with my grand kids, yes grandkids. Just trying to get work and house work done then trying to tend to kids and play with them, makes it hard when your legs wants to fall off. Or you all of a sudden cant pick them up what do you do what do you say to the doctors without sounding like a pill fiend when all is that you want is to feel normal. Thank you for your interest