Original Orient

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Real Stories. Real Tools. Real Growth.

Tag: life

  • PARENTING & FOSTER SYSTEM

    PARENTING & FOSTER SYSTEM

    So I am a father of 6 children, well now 5 of them are 18 and over 2 of my girls have kids of their own. so that now makes me a grandfather at the age of 35 and yes this was a premade family for me as I came into their lives at the ages of 3,6,7, and two around 8 and 10. This is were my life is a little complicated as my wife basically took in her exes two kids and raised them and continued to raise them even after they broke up and we got together. My wife has 3 with her ex and 1 with me, that is a quick break down but all of the kids see me as their father as I was their for them through thick and thin, and I love them as they are mine.

    Ok now we got a little back detail out of the way you can kind of tell I am a very family oriented person and I got into this premade family when I was 20 ish and yes that seems young to already have 3 kids and their half siblings most of the time for a young person but I loved it and them seeing them grow up and become who they are now and hoping I helped influence them in a good way by showing my determination for the family and values. My wife and I dated for about 2 years before my son was born the youngest of the kids and it was a hard labor for my wife. That being said we agreed for her to get her tubes tied as she might not survive another pregnancy her risk was so high and she is only 9 years older than me and this was done when she was about 33. Now that was a hard decision for me as I wanted more kids but with the doctor saying their would be an even higher chance of her hemorrhage and bleed out since it took so long for the bleeding to stop last time. I told my wife even though I would love to have more kids and I know my kids need their mother more and I would not want to risk her for my selfish reasons.

    Now lets skip ahead a few years lets say 11 years and now her sister the same age as I am now, she has had her first kid, and now a year and half and is pregnant with her second child, now her boyfriend the kids father gets out of jail and they get back together the thing is they have their issues and things happened to were after the baby was born they caught a case with D.C.S. or cps depending on you location.

    My wife and I were asked if we could foster the two kids as it would be better to keep them in the family and of course our answer was a fat yes. Now in order to do that we had to go to classes get certified in C.P.R. and other items get a home inspection and a bunch of other rules and regulations we had to follow and become a certified child safety informant… ok i forgot the actually word but yeah if we see something wrong with a child health and or care we need to report it. I mean they put foster parents in a foster parent college type of thing to learn and must complete so many credit/hours in order to be a foster parent. it is all worth it when all you do is care for and raise the kids and give them the love needed and in my wife’s and my eyes it is all for the children to grow and be come successful good people.

    I have heard the stories of bad foster parents I mean from the ones who care for money and or just doing to help a friend or family out and do not know how to rase a child to even the most grotesque situations of taking advantage of them, complete disgusting people. These are the situations I am like how did they get to do foster care and get children in their homes and the social services does not notice till it is to late? Yet their is all these inspections and regulations to get into it just to be a foster parent and once a month home visits.

    We have been taking care of our nieces for a year and 3 months and have been raising them as they were our own. The 2 now three years old is none verbal on the autistic level and she did not know her name and or recognize people, she was still using a baby bottle and a pacifier and had to rocked to calm down for bed I mean she was very behind and the mom didn’t start to get her help that she needed. We were able to get her into programs that helped her start understanding things and broke her of the bottle and pacifier this was a challenge. This poor baby was starting so far behind that it was gonna make her life that much harder and that is not acceptable. After we got her into some programs to help her learn and start moving correctly she has improved still nonverbal but she can do some sign language and has even said a few words this baby wants to do better and she has worked hard to improve as much as she has. This girl is smart she knows how to manipulate people if she thinks she can and has done that to her parents before to get snacks and whatever she wanted. Now this girl knows her name and is mostly able to play with other kids we still get the yelling and screaming tantrums or this is mine when it is in her area or when someone get close to her she doesn’t want around her but that is part of her disorder and being worked on the doctors we see were impressed with her improvement over the year. Not to mention this baby was late on all her doctors appointments we we received them so we had to get all caught up so she would be eligible to go to school early but it was done and this baby is getting better.

    Now the baby her little sister is now 16 months and hitting all the mile stones a baby should reach and has no issues just wanting to be around her sister who thinks she is annoying, every time the baby goes to her sister the 3 year old it is a tantrum since she is in her space but she is getting better.

    Their is some background on our foster children obviously we cant say to much about the case or we could loose them due to foster restrictions of information and the safety. Now with that being said and my wife and I are only about the kids and seeing them improve and be productive people when they are older. The Foster care system says they are for the children and family but what is it with all their misshapes, Yes reunification is their gaol but their qualifications should be the same it is for the foster parents. their are so many rules for us foster parents to follow and abide by but i have seen a lot of slack to the biological parents. their have been issues I have seen and brought up to the worker and it is brushed off like when the parents are suppose to do 8 supervised visits a month in order to progress to unsupervised and yet they only do 3 or 4 in the month frame. so the social services are like they are trying and we believe if they have unsupervised they will make more visits. so they get moved up to unsupervised once a week and once a week supervised and still only make 2 unsupervised visits a month and no supervised. Now here is the best example of negligence on the social services for the foster system well the parents are asking for longer unsupervised as they can do more things with the kids so it is granted and at the same time they get overnight once a week. So guess what they never do a unsupervised visit again and maybe have done 3 overnights in the last month. now how is that spending time with your kids you wanted back so badly, How is the social services pushing them up the reunification ladder if the parents have proven to not be able to make plans and keep up to the appointments how are they gonna take care of the babies? With the oldest being autistic and needs a lot of attention and a lot of doctors appointments?

    There is a lack of timekeeping and care, right now they have the mindset of we can see them and still live a childless lifestyle staying up late playing video games and waking up even later. Here is a question if you are an adult and get sick and you have kids, do you just say I cant today I don’t feel good and not take care of your kids? Cause not taking your kids for an overnight just cause you don’t feel good but your partner is healthy why cant they help with the kids or come and get them so they can see their kids. What happens when they get their kids back and one of them gets sick are they gonna not pay attention to the kids or pawn them off so they can get some sleep. I know as a parent myself I have been sick but still had to take my kid to the doctors or school make food. These visits are suppose to be bonding time and a trial like run for them to see if they are ready to take care of the kids. The problem is they are some how failing up. The foster car system is just trying to close the case before the adaption time line cause it has been over a year and the kids are young. How can you do a third of the work and still get more privileges they now have been granted two overnights and to force them to get their two visits in a week and show the court they are doing their obligations to reunify with the kids.

    In my opinion this is gonna end up hurting the kids more than it would be helping them and they might regress from all the progress they did and the parents would not know how to keep working with the kiddos in the way they need. Yes the kids leaving is gonna affect my wife and I for a bit and it will be hard but that is what we signed up for. In the long run it will affect the babies more. Now if the parents were square and on track with everything and already showing that they can handle all the obligations that are needed for a autistic child and a 16 month old, I would be ok with them going back but in my thought process they are not close enough.

    This is just my experience and thought of this situation and trying to get the anguish of the situation out of my head so I thought I would share a bit and maybe get some good info from the replies. Thank you for reading,

    Commit if you have thoughts again thank you

  • I Tried This: My Experience with a Heated Decompression Back Brace-A.I. inhanced

    Living with chronic low back pain isn’t easy. I’ve been diagnosed with spinal radiculopathy — in simple terms, pain without clear issues showing up on imaging. When my back flares up, it can trigger a chain reaction: pain in my lower back, radiating down my sciatica, hip, thigh, and leg. Sometimes it’s one leg, sometimes both. And when I compensate with the “good” leg, the next day that leg hurts too.

    Over the years, I’ve tried acupuncture, chiropractic care, and physical therapy. Unfortunately, none of these gave me lasting relief. They mostly led to more appointments and more money I didn’t have.

    Braces: Helpful but Temporary
    I’ve used different braces — back braces, knee braces, and others. They act like “band-aids,” providing short-term relief by compressing the injured or swollen area. A standard back brace wraps around the lower back and stomach, creating pressure that eases pain. But wearing one too often can weaken your muscles, since they adapt to the support instead of building strength. That’s why I avoid relying on braces daily.

    My Decompression Back Brace
    A few years ago, I purchased a decompression back brace with a built-in heating element. Heat has always helped my pain, so this seemed promising. The brace inflates to gently stretch the spine, reducing pressure on the vertebrae.

    The brand I bought was the Oramuon Heated Decompression Belt (not sponsored — just my personal experience). It’s marketed as:

    Heating Pad & Vibration for Lower Back Pain Relief, Lumbar Traction Device Back Massager with Heat.

    It offers three heating levels, a vibration function, and a pump for decompression. Best of all, it’s cordless — charge it up and go.

    What Worked (and What Didn’t)
    ✅ Heating + Decompression: These features genuinely helped. The heat eased muscle tension, and the decompression dropped my pain a few levels.

    ❌ Battery Life: The biggest downside. The product claims 130–410 minutes of use, but mine lasted only 30–90 minutes depending on the mode. I often found myself tethered to a charger.

    ❌ Vibration Feature: Personally, I didn’t find this helpful. In fact, vibration sometimes made my pain worse.

    My Ratings

    Decompression: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ (3.5/5)

    Heating Pad: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ (4/5 when fully powered)

    Vibration: ⭐⭐☆☆☆ (2/5)

    Battery: ⭐⭐☆☆☆ (2/5)

    Overall, it’s not a miracle cure, but it’s a tool that helps me manage pain when I need it.

    Final Thoughts
    I’m sharing this as a regular person dealing with chronic pain — not as a paid review. If you’ve tried similar devices, I’d love to hear your experience in the comments. And if you know someone struggling with back pain, feel free to share this post with them.

  • I Tried This

    So as you may or may not have read i have a chronic low back pain issue diagnosed as Spinal Ridiculopathy, in lame mans terms pain with no visual issues in imaging. When my back flairs up it could cause multiple issues for me like pain in the back or the pain radiates to my sciatica and i get the hip, thigh, and leg pain that might be both or just on leg. Now with one leg i will compensate with the other leg that is not hurting and then the next day that leg hurst with compensation pain.

    Now i have tried multiple things to help with acupuncture and chiropractic to even physical therapy.These have gotten the same result as in not much change or relief and they just want more appointments and for me more money i do not have. Their are items that act as bandaids and they help but use them for to long will result in worse effects when i get older and i do not want to be in more pain or a more severe condition.

    These items that i call bandaids or braces yes the back brace knee brace and others. These items will help alleviate some pain as they compress the area around the injury and or swollen tissue. A regular back brace goes around the lower back area and tightens around the stomach to create pressure on the muscles and back tissue and this helps for your low to middle back pain for as long as it is worn. where this all the time and it can even weaken the back muscle as they adapt to the comfort and pressure of when the brace is worn. That is the main reason i don’t wear braces to often.

    A few years ago I i decided to purchase a decompression back brace with a heated element built in as when I’m am on the heating pad that helps with the pain. The item pumps up and helps extend the spinal cord to help alleviate the pain

    This is the item i purchased as you can see this is a nifty looking device the Brand i believe is Oramuon heated decompression belt.
    (now I’m not getting paid for this post about it)
    this is just a basic product insight from a basic person with pain.

    Heating Pad & Vibration for Lower Back Pain Relief, Lumbar Traction Device Back Massager with Heat, Heated Back Brace with Massage, is the title it can be found under and it also has 3 levels of heating built into the heating pad function and a vibration heater that helps as well comes with a pump to help decompress the spin and let the vertebrae not grind on each other. The best part it is cordless so charge and go. Now i have used it for a while and it does help the heated feature and decompression is nice and helps drop the pain a few levels.

    Now the Features that work and do not work would be the vibration and heated parts of the brace as the battery does not last that long with both features turned on and a little longer with only one feature on and working. Their were times i was working with it on and the battery would die but I did not want to take it off as the decompression feature works and the brace helps. those features plus the h make it great but the battery was not so good. so the posting does say wireless and yet i was tethered to a plug in to charge.

    now “The Cordless Heated Back Brace is equipped with a 4000mAh battery, providing convenient usage anywhere you go. Depending on the operating mode, the battery can keep the belt functioning continuously for 130 to 410 minutes Individual experiences may vary. We suggest wearing it for 20-30 minutes at a time and discontinuing use if any discomfort arises.”this is what it says, but mine did not last 1 hr- 6 hrs maybe 30 min to 1.5 hours.

    I would giver the decompression a 3.5 out of 5 and the heating pad a 4 when it was full power and working. how ever i do not care much for the vibration message feature as im already not a fan of them i have had more pain caused than relieved so a 2 for me as in it works the battery is a 2 as well as mine did not last as long.
    If interested and and i can give you a link, again i am not getting paid to write this is personal opinion
    like and share to a friend in need leave me you your experience in comments thank you again for reading.

  • Time and hobby

    Time and hobby

    Now i havent posted in a while and that is something that has been on my mind but I have been busy with life and barely had time to breath. Now my life is not as busy as some but for my chronic issues and work life it can be hard. Now my main job is a daily 9-6 shift and and after that is my famaily. Now most people might take some time to their selves I do not really do that as I take pleasure in making my wife and kids happy. I come home and cook dinner for my wife and kids help feed my 1 year old and autistic 3 year old that are actually my foster kids but i see them as mine and would do anything for my babies. This is the fun part since I have had them for a year now and the baby baby was only a few months old, but our actuall youngest child was 11.5 years old . Now that is starting over if you you would say so. Almost a decade since I had a baby and some things have changed not to mention the extra strictions that are placed for foster parents, this can keep you busy. Now to add on to the work my wife runs a family style daycare as our oldest daughters are in their mid 20’s with kids bolth 4 or younger with multiple babies and that means makeing sure the house is clean and kids ar occupied and up to date with doctors visits and enough social interaction to make the babies become good human beings. Now to have a hobbie or pastime is great but can be expensive so my past time is playing with my babies and trying to keep my house up to date, during these times and this era of time things are tuff and expensive and money is tight for us so we focus on the kids and not really fun time for us adults. The main thing i have been working on is trying to get extra cash so that is one reason as I was not posting but i will try and keep up and hopefully you enjoy the read of a my ranting. give me some thought on this i would love the input thank you.

  • My Work life and balance??

    My Work life and balance??


    So this starts out at my life of the age of 32 years old working full time 80 hrs plus a pay period. Last year i brought home about 55,000 before taxes and now my wife is in the transition of changing jobs and her Income will be cut as she was more of the bread winner and fun activity creator for the house as I’m the boring dad. The thing is i like my main job as i get to experience a lot of different situations and items. I’m considered a sales loan associate. Ie i write collateral loans, sale items, and money. Can you guess my profession? It is one of the oldest and longest running carriers in the world. This is my main day job but i have dabbled in the past at part time jobs and dual time jobs as in multiple jobs at once. I have looked into the basic of part time and or gig jobs that require a 10-99 tax form these are the jobs that you have to pay the taxes yourself and withheld before the Mooney enters your bank account. These are called self employed jobs self freelance. Most common ones that come to mind are door dash Uber eats lift and so on. In the past have driven for door dash and not a big fan of the drive thru and or food delivery service.
    Recently with my wife recently placed on leave for medical i am in more of a drive to pick up some of the slack for my wife. I’m in a situation were i’m almost paid up on my car loan and that would free up some money and a personal loan as well that takes up a good chunk of my pay with these taken out i would not have to work as hard to get caught up in bills. Anywho im looking to check in to these apps that i have found in the App Store and or thru other internet streamers. I don’t know any names or sources sorry as in this is from memory and an impulse to write. One app i found was the common amazon app Amazon Flex, and another package delivery app called Roadie. The first time I opened the the Roadie app on a Friday after noon around 4 their was two deliveries one for 11.30 and another for $23 i think not exact but that was end of day.
    Now These delivery apps require certain parameters to work for these gig apps, like being able to drive. Need a license, a Car and or larger vehicle to transport said product/ package. I did check roadie on the fist weekend after download and their was no packages for the weekend. Now i believe the roadie app is a subsidiary for fed express shipping, so they would not run on weekends. I am going to check a few times a week and start using the app to make some money. The app is self explanatory about how it works and it goes thru how to accept and deliver the Package once delivered the pay should be sent to funds and i believe it goes thru every Tuesday. Just like door dash has a weekly pay so does this app I haven’t checked many out but I’m interested in working on these side gigs and possibly making new connections in work and career. Plus working Gigs and or side jobs allows the person to learn grow and grind away at the bills,savings, and or short term money crises.
    Now I did attempt to work with these apps for a few weeks but the Amazon flex had a waiting list and i signed up and thought maybe I would get approved soon. I logged into the roadie app but for some reason i could never get a gig with them so i was starting to loose hope. These were being over flooded with workers as it was around the time the pandemic ended and their was still plenty of people working and or apply in these type of jobs. When i calculated some of the deliveries with roadie it was not worth the wear and tear on my 2016 ford expedition. I kinda just gave up on using my car and I Headed to have a 2nd form of income to help with the bills as we transition to a single income house from a two income.
    I eventually ask a few friends and family about job opening for night just a part time one so i can still function at my main job in the day. My brother was working at a local grocery store as a night shift shelf stocker. I eventually was able to apply and talked to his boss and she like my enthusiasm and told them my availability and that was good to.
    i picked up the night shift shelf stocker for the hours of 11pm to 4am for 2 to 3 days starting. I was able to pick up a extra shift here and their. After a few weeks of this schedule that was working with me and i had a good relation with the night manager so the schedule stayed the same.
    Now one thing about this company is they are always training new management and they rotate the managers and lead clerks from night to day ever couple of quarters and it was time. The Manager i had good relations was moving to day and another up incoming manager was transferring in to learn the night shift role and what a curve it was. Now with this new night manager he started to schedule me more and more hours first a few 8 hour days that was ok then it became full night shifts. I told them i can not keep this up as this is not my main job it is my second job and I’m not making more than my first so can you please fix my schedule. Now this manager was not in the business to train and or work with employees they are the type to only shoot for their accommodations and they threw a huge wrench in our flow for the crew members. I asked them multiple times a month to fix my schedule, all i got in return is you should put it in the computer. After asking how he said ask the day manager, they knew i could not come in as i was working at my main job. I stuck it out making 40 hrs a week at day and at night for a total of 80 hour work weeks plus family events. Now I can’t tell you how much coffee or energy drinks i was drinking but it was lot. My sleep was shit now and i can tell you i do not remember most of the year i worked their like i mean family events and special occasion as i was burning the candle at booth ends and no breaks. After a year and like 3 months i was burnt, my mental health went to shit and i was no longer in right mental fortitude to control where my money was going and I was not even able to save money. I don’t know where all the hours and money went, when i was barley getting even 4 or 5 hours a day to no sleep, and my attitude changed i was snapping at everyone my wife my kids and my grand kids, i could no longer afford to keep doing two jobs so i turned my alarm off for my night job and just slept after i blew up on my wife for no reason and broke down at the same time. Now not calling in or giving my two weeks was bad but i was so tired and could no longer push myself to try i was in a different type of head space my mood with depression and anxiety. I was hoping after i quite i could keep up with the bills as my car loan was paid off and i was about to pay the last 5 months of my personal loan. How wrong i was their was some lasting effects on my mental health that lasted. Trying to save money turned in to just blowing it on bad decisions, i believe that not sleeping and constantly going and going effected my judgment and my ability to plan and or focus. I believe it took me almost a year to finally get my mind in order and my head on straight enough to keep my finances in order but it was too little to late and my bills have now erupted in and huge ballon and i still can’t really explain it but i believe it is due to the fact i could not process the right way to manage it with the lifestyle creep and trying to live like i had two jobs still but only one income mentality. I got in over my head.
    Believe me mental health focused with anxiety is some serious shit it is not good to consistently keep burning the so called candle at both ends. the effects of no sleep don’t seem like a lot in the beginning but over time it will creep up and one day it will take your so called head off. mix anxiety in with the fear of depression of not doing enough and feeling like your the only one their creates a evil circle. So take some time and find a day to rest, stretch walk run, hang out with friends or work on a hobby to try and level out and if it depends on it do not max out you whole mental focus and energy on someone besides you and your family, jobs come and go just got to keep focused on the long goal and keep the mindset simple as a inch by inch will be a cinch.