Inching Along

Now i left off with the mention of a heloc a home equity line of credit basically a second loan on the appreciation of the value on the house. I tried to get this with a local credit union and was denied due to high credit limit and now a few missed payments, I’m trying to use this to catch up and to get ahead but i was denied due to those factors. So back to the idea board, and all i could do is try and keep up. Now this has only worked for another 6 or 8 months and the debt hole just kept getting bigger and harder to pay.

After some more issues like a few car repairs and and more issues with my older house i was out of credit and about to loose it. One thing i hate the most is taking the car in for usual maintenance and being told it was done all looks good and no more than 3 or 5 months later the thing you thought they checked is what goes out and and costs just as much as the maintenance cost was. How annoying is the main auto company i can write a document on that as well as i have some choice words for the money hungry dealerships.

Now i have to many credit cards and trying to live and give to my kids is an impossible task in this world. As much as i want to help all my kids the same it has come to the fact i can not and that is the hard part. My oldest i was able to help by a car and pay for insurance alone now i could not help my second buy a car or completely cover the insurance either im scraping by and it does not feel great. I really do not want my wife to go back to work but it is coming to this and i feel like i am failing as the provider for the house.

My work life is the same but no raise in the last 2 years as this has been the most expensive decade so far. I work at a pawn shop and i can tell you they are making money with the new policy and rated California implemented with storage and security fee increases i believe a good majority goes to the pockets of the owners. The more money loaned out the more money the shop makes so why is it i have not ad a raise?

I know i have messed up a few times like falling asleep in the day as i was doing two jobs and still in chronic pain from a previous car accident. I’m not saying woe is me but dam i am always showing up and doing more work than the other employees even creating new training documents. The answers i get is that is not needed you need to focus on the new system. I’m at the slowest store and don’t see a lot of customers so i have time i trained on the new system I’m good the other stores barely touched it. So asking for a raise looks like it will not happen and this drives further in the nail of this money debt depression cycle.

This is now where i am looking and asking these new AI tools about jobs and how to get. Open ai chat gpt is my go to right now as i can talk to it like a person with a vast amount of knowledge. The answered questions I received helped me decide on what my next course wold be and unfortunately it cost some money to earn a certificate, if you want to do it on your own time type of training. So now I’m spending money on something that does not have a lot of promise in the beginning as I’m learning the basics. This is something I’m leaning towards and in full blown mindset of achieving. The thing with being at a job for over 13 years you start to see and feel is how their is other opportunities to go after just have to be willing to step out of your comfort zone. This is even more true if the job is not recognizing you when you put in more effort.

Since working two jobs i lost time in my head like physical time and my judgment was was not that great. I started to realize my judgment has been off since i was working the two jobs and my mind was in a fog like haze most of the time. Before the covid pandemic i was really good at managing money and i kept most of my bills low and even had a small savings. After i stoped working these two jobs and now i have been only working 1 job for a few months and i am getting more clear headed as time goes. The funniest thing Is I didn’t know how bad my thought and planning had been, i was still under the impression i was able to handle the bills and make the credit card payments. The last thing on my mind was how bad i was doing my finances and the road i was on until it is to late. The only good news i had was i can manage my mortgage payments to keep the house but some other bills are falling behind and I can’t get ahead. Besides making sure my mortgage is good i also payed my car off and what was left of my school loans.

Besides signing up for a certificate program, i was using chat to figure out how to make money. Online asking a computer ways to make money is the age we live in now and i do not want to go back to a 2 job status. One thing i ask first was ways to get money for free, the response was to sell items you don’t use, sell a course you are proficient at and plasma is another or ask for money. All sounds good but I’m not a expert in any field i see my self as a jack of all trades you know proficient in many fields but not a master of one field. This is like a curse making it hard to choose a path as my interest is a lot of things. I do not have much to sell so that is out and i do not want to sell my kids items. Next up is plasma donation and or selling, so i signed up to donate plasma and their was a month long bonus program that would get like $200 extra in a month after 8 donations so 2 a week and i made the initial donation and on the second donation both arms hematoma veins leaked and or popped from the pressure of blood going back in. Now I’m on deferral for 2 months since i lost a little over 2.2 liters of blood almost half my body amount of blood. So now i lose out of the bonus and i can not get the weekly pay from it so their goes that for a few months.

Now i have been interested in selling digital products and now more driven to make some money. I know that a digital presence would be needed and a brand style so i chose to make a blog and eventually a YouTube channel and i started to plan on creating digital download products and i am going to blog it. This is the blog and i am working on products to sell but this is not creating enough or interesting enough for people to share and or blow up in the internet world so I’m gonna keep trying. Thank you for reading i kinda jumped around but their is some things that always get in the way of finances car issues home repairs sickness missing work all build up but I’m taking it day by day and inch by inch so it can become a cinch as my grandma would say inch by inch is a cinch.